The Chorizo Principle

A breakdown of love, hate and...Spanish sausage?

The opposite of love is not hate. It is chorizo.

Let me explain.

As I have said, people in Montana hate me. One in particular is my former friend. If you’re in The Shallontourage you know exactly who this person is.

We call her Terri (for reasons she would not like) (☺️) and of all the details I have shared about Terri’s cringe-ass existence and knee-jerk willingness to turn on me the second public opinion told her to, the main thing that stood to the 800 Shallontourage girls is that Terri is stone cold obsessed with me.

She will insert my name into any conversation, relentlessly dissect everything I post, and use me as the scapegoat to why life in Montana has all gone to hell.

“Why is Shallon at everything?!” Terri recently shrieked at a party that I was very much not at. “She’s everywhere!”

“Here’s the thing,” said Chelle, a very wise chickadee in The Shallontourage. “I hate chorizo. And I never talk about it. Because I don’t think about it. It’s like it doesn’t exist to me. You very much exist to Terri. You are not chorizo to her.”

Chelle went on to explain that we actually do not think about the people or things we dislike, we simply cut them out and move on with our lives. The Terries of your life can’t do this, because they don’t actually hate you. They are in fact twistedly in love with you.

Love has many manifestations. Sure, the best one is that ooey-gooey happy kind, the traditional one. But isn’t love also madness? Fixation? I love a lavender latte at Starbucks. They only have it April and May so my crazy ass buys the powder on eBay and I hoard it all year long.

I’m really not sure where I was going with that example but I feel better now that it’s off my chest.

Anyway. The point is: if you find yourself ranting and raving about something, really ask yourself whats under there. Hate is fueled by passion the same way love is.

“I assure you Shallon, I do not secretly love my narcissist sister-in-law.”

Ok true. Let’s go back to that definition of love as sometimes synonymous with fixation. You’re stuck on her behavior maybe because no one else sees through her and she gets to careen through life unchecked. Do you love that? No of course not.

You envy it.

Who DOESN’T want to be a lawless asshole? I know I do. So your “love,” aka your fixation, is that she gets to do whatever and you don’t.

A good example of chorizo feelings is, say, the weird guy in HR who no one likes. He’s creepy and leery like some reddit troll who escaped a basement.

How often do you really think of him? Probably not very. You do not like him, you do not envy him, you just chorizo him and move on with your life. There’s nothing about him that really digs its hooks into you.

So, look at the people and situations that do. Get to the painful splinter of truth and decide to do something about it.

For your toxic sister-in-law, putting up stronger boundaries in your own life (everywhere, not just with her) will help you feel less triggered by her bullshit. Turn an abusive ex into chorizo by writing a forgiveness letter to yourself: accept that you made the best choices you could at the time but you’re wiser now and won’t go down that path again, pinky swear.

Looking at person beyond their surface behavior and instead through the lens of what that behavior means to you is how we turn mania into chorizo.

That’s how the sausage is made.

Did this feel like a latte with your bestie? That’s because it was. Let’s cozy up more over in The Shallontourage, my amazing community of warm and welcoming alpha females. Get 5 deep dive advice videos a week (plus rants, storytimes and more) and access to my best courses including Evil Week and my Sexy Sessions hook up tutorials! Click here to join ❤️🥂