"Slut" Just Means You're Good At One Particular Thing
Not sex. Scaring men.
Ya know, I’m getting real REAL tired of guys telling me I’m a slut.
First there was this one ex—one of those guys who love to say “You can tell me anything…” but conveniently omitted the other half of that sentence: “…so I can quietly judge and later use it against you.” He loved that I was fun and adventurous in bed, but fumed at the thought of how I became good in bed.
“I don’t need to know exact numbers, but just tell me if it’s, like, a lot.”
“Aw baby you’re right,” I said with a smile that didn’t quite touch my eyes, “you don’t need to know. Anything.”
Next was Avery, who decided that the nice furnishings in my house were concealing an endless orgy, just dicks and jizz and lube in every square foot.
“I mean all those rooms, who know what you do in there,” he sniffed over Facetime, craning his neck to try to see behind me, like the background noise he heard was maybe a gang bang just out of view. (It was Downton Abbey.)
Then there was Tom, who hit on every girl at every bar every time we were out together. Including my friends.
“It’s not enough you’ve fucked every girl in Bozeman, you have to go after my friends too?” I seethed.
“Me?” he bellowed. “You were on a REALITY SHOW okay?! You’ve fucked EVERYONE.”
“How on earth do those two things correlate, Tom?”
He just blinked, unable to bridge the two theories.
So just to recap, good sex, a nice house and a thriving career add up to one thing: slut. Mega slut!
God sometimes I just hate men. They’re like demented, useless wizards, waving their dumb weiner wands over something and cursing it. Successes become shame, qualities become liabilities, fun becomes failure.
Each of these boys hated me for a different reason, but it all boiled down to one simple fact: they were jealous. They were outgunned and outmanned (“Mom, I am a rich man”) in some bizarre competition with me, so they were going to find some way to tear me down.
Look, I have plenty of bad qualities, plenty. But my resume—sexual or otherwise—ain’t it. And that’s just the point: they didn’t focus on what I was actually doing wrong in the relationship…they hated what I was doing right. Because then they didn’t feel like they had the upper hand.
I’d honestly just appreciate some new, fresh insults. Slut is so…obtuse. So unimaginative. If I make you so mad, so deeply emasculated, lay down a Hamilton and invest in a thesaurus.
It just goes to show that at the end of the day, a stupid weak man will always reduce us to our pussy. It’s our only asset and therefore our only target.
I have found it is easier (for now) to live independently without a man in my life, there's so much BS to deal with, isn't there!? There's so much more to do when I'm not focused on the useless drama that took up so much of my energy! I am AMAZED with the happiness I felt when I set boundaries! By the way, such a good summary of the idiots that use the word slut.
On the video about The Truth About Britney Spears, this is an odd observation, but I noticed your warmth big time when you mentioned how if you see someone scream/hit their children at the grocery store, you're not afraid to say something. I feel literal pain in my soul when I see or hear that as well. When you see headlines about kids being abused it makes me completely ill. Oddly enough, with that being said, I am the same person who reached out to you when I was accused of abusing my child this last summer - it was a preposterous accusation, and when people have something to gain - they will do anything and say anything. You responded right away when I messaged you. I couldn't believe that! It meant the world to me.
I won the trial but the person behind this is incredibly angry and continues to try things with the court system. The accusations were frankly idiotic, but I'd love someday if you could do a video about people who are trying to bring you down, calculating your every move to find something new on you, as a means of revenge for you having new boundaries and how to rise up and not let it scare you.
It made me sick when you mentioned people have called you a child molester - dis.gust.ing. You are SUCH a huge influence in my life and confidence. Even though I was in the WORST situation of my life due to the accusations, I am the happiest and most confident I've ever been - a lot of that is because of you.
Ok ... can we wear matching pajamas now and be friends? :-)
Hey Shallon! It's me, Emma (@emmackidd), we've chatted before and as you know I've been a Shallagator since the BEGINNING. I'm a senior and a Film/Media major at an all women's college in Los Angeles, Mount Saint Mary's University. I have a daunting assignment in my Women in Hollywood class where I have to personally contact and zoom interview a woman in Hollywood/Media that I look up to. Then I have to write a column about our chat in our class magazine which we print at the end of the semester, which is really fun! I know you are insanely busy running your bad bitch empire, but I couldn't help but think of you and how much you have inspired me to follow my dreams since I was 13. Interviewing you about you experiences working in media and becoming a self-starting entrepreneur would be such an honor. I'm sure your story would not only inspire me (that's already a given), but the rest of my female classmates breaking into the industry. I know you're very keen about privacy, so I figured I would contact you here. Please let me know if a zoom coffee chat would be something you're interested in-- it would literally make my year! Regardless, thank you for everything. xoxo - Emma