I have never been somewhere I don’t belong. A therapist may call this ~ narcissism~ but I prefer optimism.
I have just this (baseless) belief that I am welcome anywhere I decide to be, from a NASCAR race to the Walton’s villa in St. Barths. So during our recent group trip to the French Riviera, we of course spent a day in Monaco, where 33% of the 38,000 residents are millionaires. And where we of course belonged.
As the girls chattered over espresso martinis, perfectly at ease, I caught a pair of tourists griping at the table next to me.
“I mean it’s pretty here but…I don’t know, all this money,” the woman sneered as though surrounded by piles of dog turds. “You just know there’s so much shady stuff going on.”
“Yeah, it’s not my vibe,” agreed her friend, tugging self consciously at her polyester blouse. “People just seem really fake.”
Without my consent, my head whipped in their direction and I gave them a quizzical (ok fine bitchy) look. The people are fake? And shady? How would they know that? Based on what? What were they even talking about??
I realized that was the difference between people who thrive in these places and people who shrink from them: wealth starts in the mind, not the bank.
I always say that the secret to being a hot girl is simply deciding that you are one. Magnetism isn’t actually about looks, it’s about confidence, warmth and charm.
I once knew a girl who was plain as paper and watched with my own two eyes as Leonardo DiCaprio trailed her around a club like a puppy dog.
And conversely, we have all seen the prettiest girl at the bar be absolutely invisible thanks to bad posture, a surly face or just…weird vibes, right?
Hotness isn’t about “hotness.”
So…what if other things are this way? What if we can truly pick who we want to be and how the world sees us? Because confidence doesn’t just create beauty — it creates gravity. And gravity pulls not just people, but opportunities, income, entire realities toward you.
Here’s a bold idea: you can decide to be rich.
*Let me say up front that while reading this post, realize that I’m focusing on first world rich and poor—not, like, the caste slums of India or girls married at 9 in Afghanistan. American rich and poor. European rich and poor.*
It’s no secret that the divide between rich and poor is growing wider. The middle class is disappearing. And when this comes up in conversation, 99% of the time, people seem to have decided that they are on the losing end of this.
Why on earth tell yourself that? Why not look at the grim reality and decide to war profiteer through it? I prefer to see the upside: there’s still money to be made—plenty of it.
(Case in point: my friend works for luxury brand Brunello Cucinelli, where a baseball hat will set you back $800, and a cashmere coat can run $10,000. Their business has quadrupled in the last 4 years.)
So why do people decide to self identify as the unlucky class? It boils down to two mindsets:
The Excuse Mindset: It’s easier to just bitch about being (American) poor than to do something about it. The Excuse Mindset is great for big drinkers, uneducated voters, school drop outs, etc. Very handy!
The Self Rightous (But Self Defeating) Mindset: Ah yes the moral superiority of struggle! It’s shocking how many people have been taught that money is evil. IMO, that mindset is merely sad propaganda foisted upon you by your family to explain their own financial malfeasance.
“Well I don’t even want to be rich! It’s stupid! It’s evil! It’s noble to be poor and suffer and hate the rich!”
*Eye roll*
Are you reading this on a laptop? Or an iPhone? Via wifi? In a house with heating? And running water?
Guess what girl, you are rich compared to a vast swath of humans, both today and certainly historically. If you really didn’t care about money you’d never even see this message; you’d be squatting in the dirt with a goat teat in your hand, so let’s not pretend we all just hate money, okay?
What you’re actually doing is limiting your success with a bad mindset, and devaluing something just because you think you can’t have it. Because the keyword there is think.
People in Monaco do not think money is for other people. They know it is for them. They know they belong in this room, at this table, on this yacht. It’s not even a question, it’s as immutable as gravity. Of course I will be rich.
“So wait Shallon, you’re saying that therefore poor people decide to be poor?!”
I mean…yeah sometimes. People very often tell themselves that things will never get better, they’re not smart enough, good enough, they don’t belong, etc etc on and on.
I really didn’t understand how pervasive that mindset is until I moved to Montana. It’s a mindset of excuses and pessimism.
But the Monaco mindset? Opportunities. Opened doors. Unlimited potential. It’s the mindset of Of course me.
And sure, that mindset alone doesn’t fill your bank account—but it’s the crucial foundation. If you constantly subconsciously tell yourself wealth is for others, it will be.
The truly rich people I know never tell themselves this.
Instead it’s flipped: “Someone’s gotta be rich, why not me?”
Call it entitlement or delusion—who cares? I’d rather be “delusional” on Bezos’ yacht than “realistic” in a trailer park.
How do you step into this mindset? First and foremost, excommunicate anyone who has a poverty mindset. Notice I didn’t say, “Get rid of your poor friends” because their actual net worth isn’t always indicative of the right frame of mind.
One of my friends is 27 and unemployed for the moment due to a layoff and is literally filing for food stamps in the interim…but has an unquestionable wealth mindset. She knows wealth is for her.
“This is just a bump in the road. I know my value and where I’m going!”
She’s an absolute inspiration.
Conversely, I have a very wealthy neighbor who said that if there was class warfare she’d be fighting alongside the communists.
I was like, “Girl, you own 4 houses, a $200,000 Range Rover and a construction company—in what world would the raging poor see you as one of their own?”
But in her mind, she’s a traitor to her blue collar struggle-bus roots and the faux nobility of strife. She’s failed at what she was taught: Stay small.
So she’s locked in this cycle of success and self hate. It’s such a tragic mindset and frankly I try not to be around her that much.
It’s like the body positivity movement shunning anyone who loses weight. ???? You can see how toxic that is in that context, why not with money?
Instead, find people who don’t have this embarrassing hatred for wealth. Rich people evil? Ok—then go be a good rich person. Fight fire with fire. Money lets you change the world, change your family, change the future itself.
Back in Monaco, I felt sorry for those ladies sitting peevishly at the table next to us. My girls felt no such awkwardness. And I wasn’t surprised at all; women who follow me know that there’s nothing they can’t do.
So, the way to not be a loser in Monaco is to never for one second look at the people there in an “us vs them” kind of way. You are them. This is your place. Their mindset is yours. No one belongs here more than you.
Belief is the first step to changing everything.
Are you realizing you need some like-minded high value new friends? Join us in The Shallontourage or come with me on one of our new adventures for May 2026, Italy’s Amalfi Coast: Sorrento & Capri! Click here for all the details!
These photos … This outfit with the hat and bag and shoes…..everything!
Needed to read this after yesterday's pity party... I AM if I decide it. OK, got it.